I’ve been living in the lovely Streatham for a year now. For those of you who don’t know, Streatham is a sizeable town in South London, forever described by loyalists as ‘near’ its rather cooler brethren – Brixton, Balham, Clapham, even Tooting on a good day. Streatham is famed for a number of notable associations – an infamous brothel, a hideous nightclub, and the queen of etiquette herself, Naomi Campbell, just to mention a few. Van Gogh even came here. Some say he chopped his ear off with a Streatham blade. Others say he was off his tits on Absinthe.
The word Streatham means ‘Hamlet on the Street’. Cute huh? Before arriving a year ago, upon telling an old friend in trendy Shoreditch I was moving to South London (the humanity!!) he replied “Gone for the big house in the burbs have you?” Yeah, how very Darling Buds of May it is around here. More like the Darling Buds of Kwik Fit.
For some reason, I do actually like it here. Streatham is the embarrassing friend you are afraid to introduce to your other, cooler friends. When you find yourself living in Streatham, you defend Streatham. Streatham needs you, and that sort of desperate dependency has its charm. We might not have the tube. We might not have a Waitrose. But we DO have two Lidls, twenty nail bars, a 99p stores and even a cheeky little 98p store. Entrepreneurship is not dead here (The Apprentice, eat your heart out.)
Us Streatamites (and yes, I know – a year in Rome does not, a Roman, make) pretend we don’t want the tube anyway. It’s crowded, expensive, there is no view, and it is simply too clichéd to live somewhere in London that features on the tube map. You can have your tube you ponces. I like my trains being cancelled due to ‘no member of train crew available. I like ‘Sunday services’.
Britain’s Worst Street!! (Streatham High Road picked up this rather dubious honour in 2002. Yes, maybe, but ‘The Longest High Street in Europe’ too, we proudly reply. And let’s face it, that’s what you want if you happen to have the worst street in Britain running through your neighbourhood like a fat filled smokers artery. For it to be really, really bloody long.
‘We had a John Lewis once!!!’ they cry (the real Streathamites, that is.) Yes, yes, I know. I am repeatedly reminded. My barber tells me, every single time I go for a hair cut. It gets a little tedious, this looking backwards to former glory. Before living in Streatham I was in Manchester. Manchester’s version of the Streatham John Lewis yarn is called the Hacienda. Get over it. Yeah we’ve got faded glory. And bugger all else. John Lewis was a wuss, it didn’t want to hang around. Wimpy did, and I love it for it. Square burgers are simply better than round ones. Period.
So that’s it. My virgin rant about Streatham. The first of many. South London, I love you. Now I’m just off to John Lewis to pick up some civic pride. Its on special offer there.
Nice 1st post diddlysquat.
ReplyDeleteI am in the process of buying a flat in Streatham and look forward to defending/singing the praises of my new hood.
First comment on the new blog...woo hoo!
Jim
Cheers Jim
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the hood!
Streatham has nothing obvious going for it, which is why it's a great place to live. You just need to get off the high street to see its charm. It's just about the most down to earth places to live in London, has a diverse population and there is a family feel about the place. None of your uppity Balhamites or trendy Shoreditch types here thank you.
ReplyDeleteThe high street has improved recently and there are some great pubs (The Waterfront, The Railway, and the Earl Ferrers to name a few).
You will quickly learn to ignore the eyesores and focus on the positives!
Welcome to the Southside ;o) I've been here a few years, moved South from Brixton after many years there and before that Stockwell. It took me a while to get use to things, it's a lot more Suburban than Brixton or Stockwell but has it's own charms none the less. I've learnt to love Streatham for the way it is. It will change, in fact it's slowly changing now.
ReplyDeleteI agree... After two and a half years here, I'm actually paying more attention to the place. Over the past couple of months, I've found that the High Street between Streatham Hill and Becmead Avenue is fantastic for food... Korona deli, Streatham Fruiterers, Kennedy's chip shop, fish tale, Purple, The Hamlet... I hear that there is some developments planned for the old Megabowl site and Ceasars so it will be interesting to see what the area will be like in a couple of years from now!
ReplyDelete